Wrong are those people who say revenge is a hollow experience! On the contrary, it is a kaleidoscope of a wide array of emotions- anger, relief, contentment, ecstasy; all rolled into one. It is a drive stronger than passion and fiercer than love. Maybe those people were not able to gauge their emotions or unlike me, they hadn’t been consumed by their desire for revenge.

I had never felt more alive than I did at the instant when I plunged the knife deep into your gut. The way your face made an ‘O’ of shock; I almost laughed out loud. Giddy with excitement, I thrust the knife in and out of your body. I can’t believe this is so easy. Carving out your pieces feels no different than carving the rooster. Even though you are long dead; I can’t help playing with your body. I guess I have earned this little indulgence after waiting almost twenty years for this moment.

There lie your fingers chopped off from your hands. They never would have guessed their fate while forcing themselves down my blouse. As those memories fill my mind, chopping isn’t enough. I stomp on them one by one developing a rhythm. It’s like a dance where you have to jump from one finger to another. All that jumping tires me out all too soon. It’s time to pay attention to those filthy, lecherous eyes that robbed me of my innocence. What to do? Simply crushing them won’t be enough. It would be too instantaneous. I want to prolong the magical experience of mutilating your body. You, who mutilated me in ways that I ended up feeling disgusted by myself. They say karma is a bitch. It’s time you feel exactly how bitchy it is.

A scale lying nearby catches my attention. Perfect! Using it as a lever, I pop out your eyeballs. It takes some effort but the result makes it worthwhile. With your empty sockets and dried blood, you look like a corpse from a B-grade Bollywood movie. The image is so hilarious that I can’t help letting a few giggles escape. As I hold those slimy eyeballs in my fist, the sense of control that I lost as a child returns with a wave of power. I have never felt so invincible.

Your face is turned towards the wall. Are you looking at the clock? Once, as a child, I too had looked at the clock and wished it to be morning soon so that the nightmare would be over. I bet you are praying for the same thing. Let me share with you the advice that you gave me that night-“There is no escape. You are mine now”. I think you realize how horribly true those words are as I take the knife towards your genitals next.

Kayenat Khan

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